Show tonight! Free CD's being mailed! LOUD NOISES!

Hey everyone. It's kind of a "clean-up" day around here. Got a few things for you.

First, go here to get more info about the concert tonight in the Houston area. It's free and it should be a big crowd. I mean, for me, a "big crowd" is like 70 people, but you know what I mean.

Second, the Great CD Review Giveaway of 2010 is officially over. Thanks to all who participated and gave me big props and much love. The free CD's are going in the mail today. If you haven't given me your CD preference and your address, I can't send you a CD! So get me that asap. Depending on where you stay at, you'll get them sometime next week.

Third, in case you're wondering who all these strangers are showing up and commenting, they are all mainly followers of this chica, who is doing a giveaway of her own. Feel free to go over there and get some free stuff.

Fourth, I really want to tell you all about my trip last week to Nashville. It was tons of fun and I learned a lot. In addition, there were some really cool "career" things that happened. So hopefully I can get to that next week.

That's all for now. Hope to see all the Houston folks tonight!

See dee baby? (A Contest!)

For some reason, when I wrote that sentence, I said it outloud with an unidentifiable European accent. Like many of my jokes, you had to sort of be there to appreciate it.

Anyway, my kids' CD is now available at CDBaby. I'm hoping to generate some sales there, so I thought I'd run a little giveaway/contest thing.

Here's how it will work. I'll give a free CD -- anything from my catalog that is still in print -- to anyone who will do 2 of these 4 things:

--go to my CDBaby page and post a review (hopefully a very positive one) for the new CD.
--go to my iTunes page and post a review for the kids CD.
--go to my Amazon page and post of review for the kids CD.
--go to any of the pages that i listed here and post a review in the "comments" section of any of those blogs/pages.

Just do 2 of those things, then email me (ross@rosskingmusic.com) or comment on this post, letting me know that you did it (links to your reviews would be appreciated, but if you're not very tech-savvy, just tell me where the reviews are), then let me know what CD you want. It's that easy, people!

I figure if I get several good reviews, I'll be more likely to sell some stuff in those various places. These different webpages/services represent different markets for me, because most of my "fans" would probably just buy my stuff direct from my website. But people who buy at CDBaby or thru the other above places are more likely to be the kind of folks who just stumble upon me one way or another (especially now that I have a CD in a different "genre").

So, most of you probably have all the CD's of mine that you want, but if not -- or if you want to give some as gifts or whatever -- go post some reviews and let me know about it. I'll send you some free stuff!

I want my nickel back, nickel back, nickel back.

While my kids’ record is being mixed, I’m spending the weekend at a conference in L.A. The conference is for Taxi, an independent A&R organization that I’m in. Remember when I sent out those free instrumentals and told you guys to look for them on TV, etc? That was a connection I made with these folks.

It’s been an interesting experience for me, being here. There are about 2500 musicians at the conference: songwriters, producers, singers; pretty much every genre you can imagine is represented. In addition to that, there are lots and lots of “important” industry people here. Well-known songwriters, publishers, record label execs, that kind of thing.

The point of the conference, as far as I can tell, is sort of two-fold. First, we’re here to attend all kinds of seminar classes and informational panels and keynote speakers and such. Those have been pretty good. Classes about what music supervisors are looking for when they are trying to find music for TV shows, movies, commercials, etc. Classes about how to make great sounding recordings without spending lots of money. Classes about how to market your own music cheaply and effectively. Etc, etc.

Second, we're here to network and schmooze and hand out business cards and CD's and such. That part of it is pretty much a nightmare to guy like me, but I'm trying to be teachable and jsut go for it. There's a weird tension in trying to promote yourself while also fully embracing the Gospel. I won't go into all that here. You guys know that I'm always asking silly questions like that and taking all the fun out of stuff.

Anyway...

Right now, I’m in a huge room (The Grand Ballroom!) listening to a panel of big-time record label A&R reps who are critiquing music that is being played for everyone in the room. Basically, conference attendees can put their music in a big box and hope that it will be chosen, at random, to be played. If chosen, their song is played for maybe 45-60 seconds, and then the panel will critique it in front of everyone. If this sounds brutal, it is. I’m sitting here thinking of how thankful I am that I didn’t put anything in that box.

The conference as a whole has been excellent, but this last hour or so hasn’t been too good.

However, here’s something I just couldn’t resist telling you. A few minutes ago, they chose a rock song to play. The song wasn’t bad, but the singer was pretty great, at least within the rock genre. It was that typical gritty rock singer sound, and the singer did a great job with it. But here’s the fun part. One of the panelists is pretty involved in the pop/rock genre and, when asked what he thought of the song, he said this:“It’s not bad, but this kind of song has to pass The Nickelback Test.”

He then proceeded to tell us about this test. I don’t remember what he said, because every time I hear the word Nickelback, and it isn’t followed by phrases like “sucks toilet water” or “is terrible” or "makes me want me to stab my own ears with meat thermometers," my brain shuts down and has to reboot.

After my brain rebooted, I was sort of curious to know more about this Nickelback Test. Could I pass it? Is it a written test? Essay or multiple choice? Would there be a word bank from which to choose answers? How smart and original would a singer/songwriter have to be before they were disqualified? Would there be any sort of physical or medical qualifiers? Maybe you have to have a bad perm-and-dye job to pass? Maybe it would be necessary to bludgeon the listeners in the ears over a 3 and a half minute period in order to pass The Nickelback Test.

I can’t answer any of these questions, because I didn’t hear the explanation of this elusive test.

So I’ve decided to run a quick contest. The winner of this contest will get the notoriety of being honored on this blog, as well a free copy of Words that Rhyme With Orange when it releases here in a few weeks.

Here’s the contest: Come up with a compelling, convincing theory about The Nickelback Test.The theory must answer questions such as these. What is it? What purpose does it serve? How does one pass it? What happens if one fails it? Does The Nickelback Test have an application fee? Maybe a dime or 6 dollars? If one passed The Nickelback Test 5 times, would that make them a Quarterback? If a band consisted of 5 pennywhistle players, could it be automatically absolved from taking the test? Stuff like this. I just need to know.

I'll take submissions for 3-4 days. Enter as often as you like!

Hey kids, rock and roll

It's contest time again...

One of the tough things about my crazy traveling schedule last year was that I had a lot of trouble finding space in my brain to write songs. I mean, I had spent a good chunk of 2006 writing and recording the music for Soulspeak, and then a good chunk of 2007 writing and recording the music for Perhaps, so I guess I was due a break.

But writing songs is what I do. Though I’ve got lots and lots of jobs, song writing is the thread that binds all those jobs together.

So when I found myself overwhelmed with organizing and booking house concerts (not to mention actually doing them), which included a tremendous amount of phone calls, emails, flight-booking, place-to-sleep-finding, receipt-keeping, and money-counting (mostly one dollar bills, but still), I just really didn’t have anything left for the creative endeavor that is song writing.

That was tough, but obviously I had a blast. As I’ve said before, the whole experience has been really fantastic, and I look forward to getting back “out there” again soon.

In the meantime, my new job, though busy and time-consuming, is consistent and predictable and, at some levels, easier on my pea-sized brain.

So I’ve been writing again. A lot. And, cooler still, I’m actually writing really different stuff. For example, I can’t tell you the whole story, due to a contractual obligation (that’s not a joke), but some stuff happened this summer (someday I’ll either be able to tell you the story, or perhaps you can see it for yourself) that got me thinking about writing for advertising. Like jingles. So I’ve actually been writing some jingles. Just local stuff, but it’s been a blast. I write 30 seconds of music and lyrics, and people pay me. It’s been a blast. It’s challenging and weird, and of course it’s the absolute epitome of “selling out,” but you know what? I don’t care. I make money for writing music, and that’s the dream. So there.

In addition, I’ve been writing some hymn-type worship music. Long story, but I’ve been studying old hymns and old styles of worship, and I've been writing in response to what I've learned.

I've actually got almost all the music ready for an entire project of half-original, half-re-worked or re-arranged hymns. I can’t wait to show it to you. I don’t know when I’ll do it. Hopefully early in the spring.


And finally, I’ve been writing children’s music (that's the reason for all the pics of my kids; it's not just an excuse to rub your nose in the fact that they're so cute and talented). Those of you who are parents know that there is just a lot of bad children’s music out there, especially in the “Christian” category. And I just decided that I’d try my hand at it. I don’t know how good I am at it, but I’ve been writing a lot.

And also…

OK,OK, I’ll get to the contest. You know how I am. It’s not like you ever expect me to just come out and say something. I have to give the whole, long, drawn-out delivery. It’s my way, and you love me for it.

I mean, “Clear the Stage” is nearly 6 minutes long, and it’s your favorite. Just admit it, and we can move on.

So, the contest:
I’ve got about 7 songs completed (and about 3-4 half-completed) for a children’s record. Some of the songs are overtly “Christian,” meaning I wrote them deliberately trying to point people to Jesus. And some of them are just about “kid” things.

Here are some of the topics of the songs:
--The books of the Bible
--Being ok/secure with who/how God made us
--Playing outside (as opposed to spending all day in front of the TV or whatever)
--Trying new foods
--Whining
--The concept of the Trinity (I’m serious)

Stuff like that. It's sort of all over the map, I admit. Some of the songs are kind of funny/goofy, and some are more serious. But it’s all aimed at kids. It’s been a blast working on it all.


I’d like to have 12-15 really solid songs for the project, but I’m running out of ideas. I need ideas!!!

So you folks have to send me your ideas, and I’ll pick ones that “inspire” me. If I write a song based on your idea, I’ll give you a credit on the CD, and of course I’ll send you a couple of free copies.

That's the contest. That's the pitiful prize.


Lots of you are parents, and you know that music helps your kids to learn things. So just be thinking about what kinds of things you’d like to hear your children (or any children) singing, declaring, learning, etc.

Send me whatever you’ve got. I don’t care if the ideas are explicitly “Christian” or not. I don’t care if they’re silly or serious. I just need ideas.

Within a month or so, I’ll try to post a demo or two of some of this stuff so that my faithful blog followers can get a taste of what’s to come (kind of like I did before the release of Perhaps).

OK, bring it on. Who wants their name in the liner notes?

Another Lame Contest!!! With Pathetic Prizes!!!

I fail in the little things. That’s my main problem. If you need someone to write a 6-minute, tear-jerking song about idolatry, I’m your guy. If you’re looking for someone to confront a very tense, heavy-conflict situation, call me. You’re wanting to record/produce a big budget indie record? I got you covered. Big stuff? No problem.

If you want someone to return a phone call or write a thank you note, Lord help me. I’m a wreck.

The devil, they say, is in the details.

Which brings me to today’s topic: chord charts. For the last several years, I’ve gotten about one request per week for chord charts of my songs. Sometimes it’s “hey can I get a chord chart for ‘Clear the Stage?’” Other times it’s like “I’d love chord charts for all the songs from your last 3 CD’s.” I happen to have a chord chart (and even sheet music) for “Clear the Stage,” but the other request is a little tougher.

See, I don’t really write chord charts for my songs, because I never use them. Even when I record my songs in the studio, or when I teach my songs to new band members, we always use The Nashville Number System. I just don’t really have a use for chord charts.

Worst of all, I don’t always know what the chords are for my songs. Admittedly, most of my songs are pretty simple, but sometimes I’m just making up chords that sound good. And when I start slapping capos on the guitar, I don’t have a clue what I’m playing.

There is one big exception to this. When I recorded To Make God Famous Vol. 2, I actually spent several weeks making charts for the songs on that CD, as well as the songs on the other Famous project. I ended up putting all those charts into a CD-ROM thing on Famous 2.

But that’s all I’ve got.

So, pretty much every time I get these emails asking for charts, I answer in one of two ways. Sometimes I’ll just be really truthful and realistic and say something like “Sorry, I just don’t have charts, nor do I have the time to do them.” I mean, people aren’t usually offering to pay for charts (and I’m not even sure that I'd feel okay taking money for them), and my life is just too busy to spend hours and hours on something that doesn’t help feed the kids.

Other times, I’ll actually believe the best about myself and I’ll say something like, “I don’t currently have a chart for that song, but I hope to get to that very soon, so check back with me in a few months.” Months pass, and of course there are no charts. Because it just never gets to the top of my “to do” list. You know how that goes. Ross King, Big Fat Liar Face.

And that’s where I am now. But I’ve decided to do something about it. I still don’t want to sit around making charts, trying to figure out the names of chords. I ain't gonna do it. But I’d love to help people to learn to play my songs if they want to. There are dozens of longing, eager fans out there waiting for this.

So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to make short video tutorials, showing anyone who is interested how to play various songs. And that’s where you come in. I’ve written a couple hundred songs. I’ve personally recorded over 100 of those. I’ve got no clue where to start.

I need you to vote. I need you to tell your friends -- anyone who has ever been interested in playing my music -- to vote. I know I don’t get a ton of traffic around here, but I really do need help.

And since I haven’t done any contests around here in a while, I’ll turn this into one. Maybe that will generate some votes. Here’s my deal to you. Everybody who votes is a winner. If you will simply vote for a song that you’d like to learn, I will mention you in the video tutorial of that song. Like a dedication or something. It will be like, “Michael Steele, I know how badly you wanted to learn ‘Anymore,’ so here it is.”

Like that. Depending on how the voting goes, the first video will be up sometime next week.

Oh, and here are the two conditions.

First, if you know me well enough that you could just sit down with me and learn the song sometime when we’re having lunch, you don’t get to vote.

Second, if you don't play guitar, don't vote.

Why the conditions? Simple. I don’t want a bunch of camera-hungry goons mucking up the voting just to get their 15 sad minutes of not-even-real-fame on my obscure youtube page.

Congrats Johnny!

It's hard to say exactly why, but I like "Enthusiam '07 featuring Ross King" best, so Johnny wins.

What set this entry apart, you ask? I think those of you who know me well know that this is exactly the kind of subtle, smart-mouth, and oh-so-spot-on-sarcastic humor that I love. I mean, really, has the word "entusiasm" ever been used to describe me?

Runners up were, in no particular order:

Joe, with "Free Music (musical stylings and a positive message from local artist Ross King)"

Brett, with "Ross and Coco in 'I sing while he mimes'"

Lance, with "An Inconvenient Concert"

( though I really couldn't let this one win because it reminded me too much of Al Gore's "documentary," and that thing's already garnered more undeserved awards than Titanic and Crash combined; and no,that's not my attempt to refute global warming, only to refute Al's scientific and artistic integrity)

Everyone did great. You're all winners. Well, actually only Johnny is.

Anyway, I'm putting some tasty meat products in the mail to Johnny today. They're pretty heavy, and I don't have a lot of money so they may take a couple of days. So, Johnny, you can be expecting some warm pork food within a week or so.

I've still got a recap to write, from last week. The short version is that the show ruled. The long version will be ready soon.

Big Show; Jokers Wanted

So I'm playing at this place (above) on Friday November 9, and I think everybody who lives within 90 miles or so ought to try and come. Craig Weaver (percussion/drums) and Brady Redwine (keys, dobro, etc) have already agreed to join me, and I may throw in another band member or two before it's all over with. Or maybe I'll keep it fairly acoustic. Not sure yet.

Either way, mark the calendar. This is gonna be a super-sweet face-rocker for the ages.

Oh, and in case you're wondering how/why I'm throwing a 400-seat theater venue smack into the middle of my "houses and other tiny venues" tour, here's the sitch:

Aaron and Heather Hendrick, apparently my most devoted and go-getter fans, decided to put this thing together after realizing that, in order to accomodate all the people in their life who want to hang out at their house and listen to live music, they would need to host something life 43 house shows. That seemed like too much, I guess. I mean, the cost of chips and dips alone would be staggering for such an undertaking, not to mention the potential for knick-knack theft and toilet back-up. So they emailed me and said, "what if we had one Big Show instead of 43 small ones?"

I said yes. So that's what we're doing. Who's with me? Did I mention that it's free?

I'll give you a moment to think about it....

Good. See you there.

Now that I've got that out of the way, I think it's time for another contest around here.

Last time I had people pick my tour name. Ironically, Heather won that, though only by a narrow margin. Also ironically (or alsoronically, if you will), this contest was Heather's idea as well. Hey, I told you these people were go-getters.

So here's the contest. It appears, from the above pic, that the old Palace Theater has a marquee. Now, I have no idea who has control/access to this thing, or if they'll let me get my grubbies on it. But I sure would love to have something snazzy to put there on the night of my concert.

And more than that, I sure would like to think of some really funny stuff to not put on it, but that, if we were in Fantasy World Where Everybody Likes to Make Jokes, would be on it for shiz.

So send in your ideas, and the winner will get some Free Stuff*, not to mention the huge ego boost of being lauded publicly on this here site.

Ready, set, jokes.

Todd and Lance, keep it clean.

Oh, and Alex, try to make jokes that other people besides me and you understand.

*"Free stuff" can include, but is not limited to, kind words, handshakes, platonic side-hugs, affirming yet awkward eye-winks, meat products, coozies, gently used D-Now T-shirts, spam emails, spam sandwiches, or any official Ross King merchandise. The management of Ross King World Tour will not be held responsible, nor will it even really care a whole lot, if recipients of said "Free Stuff" are unsatisfied, injured, humiliated, or made ill by the use or possession of said "Free Stuff." Restrictions apply. Available while supplies last. No monkeys were harmed in the making of this blog.

We're all winners, though,aren't we?

Here it is, folks...

Ladies and Gentlemen, this fall, I will begin my tour of tiny venues, and it shall be called:

The Su Casa es Mi Casa tour.

Congratulations to Heather Hendrick. Who knew that all my funny dude friends would get beat by a chick?

Why did I pick Heather's entry? First of all, it's multicultural and, as many of you know, that kind of stuff is mucho importante (very important) to me (me). Red, yellow, black, white. They truly are all precious in His sight. Can I get an "amen"? Second, it speaks to the heart of my intentions for this tour. I will absolutely make myself at home in the houses (casas) of my fans. Thirdly, it doesn't have anything to do with toilets. Truth be told, "the bathroom's down the hall" was my favorite entry (and will probably find its way onto a t-shirt or coffee mug at some point), but toilets seem to make people feel uncomfortable (I will skip the obvious joke here). Heather didn't talk about toilets, and that was big for her in the end.

"Everybody Back Up" almost won as well, just because it sounds like something I'd actually say to people sitting close to me. But I was afraid such a statement might cause trouble later. I mean, in crowded living rooms, a lamp or vase might be behind somebody and, in simply heeding the statement, a young fan might back up right into something breakable. That's just a lawsuit waiting to happen. I do pretty good with lawsuits, historically speaking, but they are never fun.

"Ross Who?" is perhaps the most sincere of all the ideas. I mean, I actually think that Lance guy just showed up here at this site and, seeing a contest with prizes, decided to enter. I'm pretty sure he really didn't know who I was (and still doesn't). That kind of brutal, gut-level honesty almost won him a major, highly coveted award. But I was afraid that if that motto got onto a t-shirt, it might turn into the independent music equivalent of that "who's on first" sketch that Laurel and Hardy used to do. Here's how it might go down:

Ross King fan proudly wears "ross who?" tour shirt. Legimately confused onlooker approaches Ross King fan with bewildered look on face.
Onlooker: "Ross who?"
Fan: "Yep"
Onlooker: "What?"
Fan: "What?"
Onlooker: "Ross who?"
Fan: "Yes. Ross Who."
Onlooker: "That's what I'm asking you: ross who?"
Fan: "Uh huh"
Onlooker: "Don't get smart with me, buddy."
Fan: "Er..."
Onlooker: "Huh?"
Fan: "What"
Onlooker: "Ross who?"
Fan: "Exactly."

I think after that, violence would ensue. And probably nobody would get saved.

Finally, "Ross King Sings on Couches," though it received the most votes, did not win, simply because it's not really a comprehensive statement with regard to the placement of my behind at upcoming concerts. I will sit on couches. It's true. But I will probably sit on chairs, ottomans (or ottomen, possibly), love seats, and many other manner of living room furniture as well. Todd suffered from this kind of "incorrectness" in several of his entries. For example, I really don't know more chords now. He gave me too much credit. And he didn't give enough credit to non-sofa seating. Very close-minded. Not very multicultural (no bueno).

So that's that. It's over. Does that mean people will stop coming to the blog? Or did they already stop? Hello? Anyone?

Anyway, thanks everybody.

Now that this business is over, I'm thinking of posting some actual info on the tour and the album. But not tonight.

And the FINAL finalists are...

I'm trying to drag this out as long as possible. I've seen some reality TV and, like all of America, I've learned a great deal from it. One of the things I've learned is that you always drag these things out. It keeps the audience riveted. You're riveted, aren't you?

First of all, the polls are officially closed. Any submissions received after 11:00 pm, May 13, will be deleted forcefully yet soberly. It's a shame to waste talent, but I will not risk any of your genius ideas falling into the wrong hands. I am serious as a heart attack, people.

Anyway, after much thought, discussion, and prayer (ok, absolutely no prayer), I've narrowed the field to 5 finalists. It was tough, because, in addition to the 75 or so that I had in the initial batch, there were another 20-30 late entries. That's like a hundred, total. I mean, if I had a nickel for every tour name idea that I got, i could fill a giant stocking with nickels (around a hundred of them) and, if I were strong enough to wield such a stocking, and if it could hold all those nickels without breaking or getting a run or whatever, I could probably swing that nickel-filled death sock around and around and let it fly, and probably knock a building down or something.

So, basically, lots of good tour name ideas is what I'm saying.

My apologies to all of you who we have to say "goodbye" to in this, the final round. All I can say is that, you're all very talented, and I feel confident that many of you will probably be getting calls -- and soon -- from tour-naming firms ready to snatch you up and get you on their payrolls, naming tours for other not-very-famous musicians worldwide. At RossKingWorldTour Headquaters, we firmly believe that even the winners are losers. Wait, that came out wrong. That sounded more like something Jesus would say and then Derek Webb would write an awesome song about. What I meant to say was that in a contest like this, even the losers are only losing a dumb contest.

The 5 finalists are (viewed l-r in the pic below):

"Ross Who?" by Lance
"Ross King Sings on Couches" by Todd
"Everybody Back Up" by Mark
"Su Casa es Mi Casa" by Heather (and I feel it's absolutely necessary to pull an Oprah and say "you go girl")
"The Bathroom's Down the Hall" by Thad

I am so proud of all of you. And I can tell from this pic that you're all just as proud to be here today.

Because I'm a softy, and because we at RKWT HQ like to nurture young, creative minds, I'll be giving all these finalists a free copy of the new project (tentatively titled Think About It) if it ever comes out, as well as a free beverage of their choice and maybe -- but not necessarily or probably or actually -- a bunch of money.

I'm going to take a few days and announce the winner by the end of the week. Please feel free to lobby for your favorite finalist in the "comments" section.

And the Finalists Are...

The "Name The Tour" Contest isn't over, but it's defnitely losing some steam. And, while we are still accepting ideas, I thought it would be best to narrow the field from what we've gotten so far. So, from about 75 submissions, here are my 14 favorites, in order of appearance:

"Ross Who?" by Lance
"Homewrecker" by Lance
"Parade of Homes" by Lance
"Ross King Sings on Couches" by Todd
"Ross King Knows More Chords Now" by Todd
"Is He Still Alive?" By Todd
"The Bathroom’s Down The Hall" by Thad
"Bad Boys of Worship" by Thad
"And All the Allegations True" by Thad
"Potluck Supper" by Stevie
"Out of the Spotlight, Next to a Lamp" by Sparrow (whoever that is)
"No, Really" by Chase
"Everybody Back Up" by Mark/Pepe
"Did Everyone Get My Contractual Demands?" By Mark/Pepe

I would've had 15 favorites, but one of Todd's submissions was both slightly inappropriate and too close to the truth. I was afraid that people might buy the accompanying merch for the wrong, er, right, reasons. Sorry, Todd. You lose points for being, perhaps, a little too spot-on.

So, the contest is still officially on for maybe a day or two longer. But I'd also love to hear your thoughts on this batch of finalists. Feel free to applaud/exhort your own work. We welcome that here at the RossKingWorldTour headquarters. After all, we're in the business of promoting ourselves. If a tour is anything, it's a statement of "hey, who else thinks i'm awesome?"

Come to think of it, that's not a bad tour name...

thanks for playing.

It'll look great on a t-shirt

Above, you will see the tour poster for one of the great concerts of my teenage years, by one of the greatest-and-somehow-most-ridiculous bands ever. What's that about? I'll tell you.

I think it's time to get some interaction going here on the ol' world tour blog. How do we get that? I'll tell you that, too: incentives. Free stuff. That's how. So here's what we're going to do. I think this world-tour-of-tiny-venues needs a name. Every great rock-n-roll tour has a name. And, since this tour won't have much of anything else that every great rock-n-roll tour has, it at least needs the name. That's the least I can do.

So we're gonna have a little contest, kids. Come up with a name for my tour, and you'll get a free copy of my CD before it gets released. I'll sign it or something, if that's of any value to you. And I'll tell everyone who you are and how you were the genius behind it all. If I make any "merch" for the tour (something i've never done before, but who knows?), you'll get some of that stuff too. T-shirts or something. Probably not shoe-strings or bracelets or breath-mints. I'm still brainstorming here.

So if you have a good name for my tour, post in the "comments," and we'll see if we can't make history. And, by "make history," I mean history like "goes in Ross' mom's scrapbook" or something.

Oh, and remember that I like funny more than I like dramatic. If your idea is something like "a king for The King" or whatever, you will lose.

Also, no cuss words. Sinbad is funny without cuss words, and you can be too.