Another Lame Contest!!! With Pathetic Prizes!!!

I fail in the little things. That’s my main problem. If you need someone to write a 6-minute, tear-jerking song about idolatry, I’m your guy. If you’re looking for someone to confront a very tense, heavy-conflict situation, call me. You’re wanting to record/produce a big budget indie record? I got you covered. Big stuff? No problem.

If you want someone to return a phone call or write a thank you note, Lord help me. I’m a wreck.

The devil, they say, is in the details.

Which brings me to today’s topic: chord charts. For the last several years, I’ve gotten about one request per week for chord charts of my songs. Sometimes it’s “hey can I get a chord chart for ‘Clear the Stage?’” Other times it’s like “I’d love chord charts for all the songs from your last 3 CD’s.” I happen to have a chord chart (and even sheet music) for “Clear the Stage,” but the other request is a little tougher.

See, I don’t really write chord charts for my songs, because I never use them. Even when I record my songs in the studio, or when I teach my songs to new band members, we always use The Nashville Number System. I just don’t really have a use for chord charts.

Worst of all, I don’t always know what the chords are for my songs. Admittedly, most of my songs are pretty simple, but sometimes I’m just making up chords that sound good. And when I start slapping capos on the guitar, I don’t have a clue what I’m playing.

There is one big exception to this. When I recorded To Make God Famous Vol. 2, I actually spent several weeks making charts for the songs on that CD, as well as the songs on the other Famous project. I ended up putting all those charts into a CD-ROM thing on Famous 2.

But that’s all I’ve got.

So, pretty much every time I get these emails asking for charts, I answer in one of two ways. Sometimes I’ll just be really truthful and realistic and say something like “Sorry, I just don’t have charts, nor do I have the time to do them.” I mean, people aren’t usually offering to pay for charts (and I’m not even sure that I'd feel okay taking money for them), and my life is just too busy to spend hours and hours on something that doesn’t help feed the kids.

Other times, I’ll actually believe the best about myself and I’ll say something like, “I don’t currently have a chart for that song, but I hope to get to that very soon, so check back with me in a few months.” Months pass, and of course there are no charts. Because it just never gets to the top of my “to do” list. You know how that goes. Ross King, Big Fat Liar Face.

And that’s where I am now. But I’ve decided to do something about it. I still don’t want to sit around making charts, trying to figure out the names of chords. I ain't gonna do it. But I’d love to help people to learn to play my songs if they want to. There are dozens of longing, eager fans out there waiting for this.

So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to make short video tutorials, showing anyone who is interested how to play various songs. And that’s where you come in. I’ve written a couple hundred songs. I’ve personally recorded over 100 of those. I’ve got no clue where to start.

I need you to vote. I need you to tell your friends -- anyone who has ever been interested in playing my music -- to vote. I know I don’t get a ton of traffic around here, but I really do need help.

And since I haven’t done any contests around here in a while, I’ll turn this into one. Maybe that will generate some votes. Here’s my deal to you. Everybody who votes is a winner. If you will simply vote for a song that you’d like to learn, I will mention you in the video tutorial of that song. Like a dedication or something. It will be like, “Michael Steele, I know how badly you wanted to learn ‘Anymore,’ so here it is.”

Like that. Depending on how the voting goes, the first video will be up sometime next week.

Oh, and here are the two conditions.

First, if you know me well enough that you could just sit down with me and learn the song sometime when we’re having lunch, you don’t get to vote.

Second, if you don't play guitar, don't vote.

Why the conditions? Simple. I don’t want a bunch of camera-hungry goons mucking up the voting just to get their 15 sad minutes of not-even-real-fame on my obscure youtube page.