Getting down to bidness

First of all, how sweet is this map? I mean, cue the Lee Greenwood and bring the hankies, right?

OK. It's time for some actual tour-related organizationallizing to get going up in here. Here's what I'm looking for. I know that several of my pals come to this blog to make funny comments and show support (and to try to win free stuff, which is totally understandable), but I'm trying to figure out how many actual tour-host-home people are coming around. So if you're one of those folks who emailed me a couple of months ago when I made the announcement here, and if you're still interested, post something in the comments section. Give your name and where you live and where that is, approximately, or something. OR if you never emailed me about anything, but you're interested anyway, do the same. I'm just trying to figure if this blog is actually helpful in terms of the tour, or if it's just a fun place to read the pseudo-mocking comments of my "friends."

In addition, I'd love to get some help from some of you on putting all these shows in order, with regard to locations, times, etc. I figure if some of you can see who else is near you, and when the various shows might happen, we can start some productive dialogue to get me in as many homes as possible, without crazy amounts of driving.

Make sense?

Also, here's the news on the new CD. Things are moving along nicely, but I'm going to push back the release date (of course). I was originally hoping for late May (right now), but that's not happening. Then I wanted late June (nope). Now I'm thinking I just want to get the thing out before the house shows start in August. I promise this has nothing to do with me being lazy, or even with me being some kind of weirdo perfectionist artist type. I just hate rushing things. This record is turning out to be exactly what I hoped it could be, and more, and I just want to give it time to fully form. When I get a little closer to final mix, I'll post some audio clips here as a treat to those of you who frequent the blog.

More to come.

We're all winners, though,aren't we?

Here it is, folks...

Ladies and Gentlemen, this fall, I will begin my tour of tiny venues, and it shall be called:

The Su Casa es Mi Casa tour.

Congratulations to Heather Hendrick. Who knew that all my funny dude friends would get beat by a chick?

Why did I pick Heather's entry? First of all, it's multicultural and, as many of you know, that kind of stuff is mucho importante (very important) to me (me). Red, yellow, black, white. They truly are all precious in His sight. Can I get an "amen"? Second, it speaks to the heart of my intentions for this tour. I will absolutely make myself at home in the houses (casas) of my fans. Thirdly, it doesn't have anything to do with toilets. Truth be told, "the bathroom's down the hall" was my favorite entry (and will probably find its way onto a t-shirt or coffee mug at some point), but toilets seem to make people feel uncomfortable (I will skip the obvious joke here). Heather didn't talk about toilets, and that was big for her in the end.

"Everybody Back Up" almost won as well, just because it sounds like something I'd actually say to people sitting close to me. But I was afraid such a statement might cause trouble later. I mean, in crowded living rooms, a lamp or vase might be behind somebody and, in simply heeding the statement, a young fan might back up right into something breakable. That's just a lawsuit waiting to happen. I do pretty good with lawsuits, historically speaking, but they are never fun.

"Ross Who?" is perhaps the most sincere of all the ideas. I mean, I actually think that Lance guy just showed up here at this site and, seeing a contest with prizes, decided to enter. I'm pretty sure he really didn't know who I was (and still doesn't). That kind of brutal, gut-level honesty almost won him a major, highly coveted award. But I was afraid that if that motto got onto a t-shirt, it might turn into the independent music equivalent of that "who's on first" sketch that Laurel and Hardy used to do. Here's how it might go down:

Ross King fan proudly wears "ross who?" tour shirt. Legimately confused onlooker approaches Ross King fan with bewildered look on face.
Onlooker: "Ross who?"
Fan: "Yep"
Onlooker: "What?"
Fan: "What?"
Onlooker: "Ross who?"
Fan: "Yes. Ross Who."
Onlooker: "That's what I'm asking you: ross who?"
Fan: "Uh huh"
Onlooker: "Don't get smart with me, buddy."
Fan: "Er..."
Onlooker: "Huh?"
Fan: "What"
Onlooker: "Ross who?"
Fan: "Exactly."

I think after that, violence would ensue. And probably nobody would get saved.

Finally, "Ross King Sings on Couches," though it received the most votes, did not win, simply because it's not really a comprehensive statement with regard to the placement of my behind at upcoming concerts. I will sit on couches. It's true. But I will probably sit on chairs, ottomans (or ottomen, possibly), love seats, and many other manner of living room furniture as well. Todd suffered from this kind of "incorrectness" in several of his entries. For example, I really don't know more chords now. He gave me too much credit. And he didn't give enough credit to non-sofa seating. Very close-minded. Not very multicultural (no bueno).

So that's that. It's over. Does that mean people will stop coming to the blog? Or did they already stop? Hello? Anyone?

Anyway, thanks everybody.

Now that this business is over, I'm thinking of posting some actual info on the tour and the album. But not tonight.

Apologies...

I'm swamped with studio work and "gig" traveling, so I haven't had time to put together my "winners" post. I have my decision, but I just need some time to write something ridiculously long and overly dramatic and self-important. I'll try to get to that tonight or tomorrow. I know all of you agree that this is almost as exciting and tense as the season finale of 24. I can't give away the ending just yet, but I can tell you that no one gets shot or blown to bits.

Developing...

And the FINAL finalists are...

I'm trying to drag this out as long as possible. I've seen some reality TV and, like all of America, I've learned a great deal from it. One of the things I've learned is that you always drag these things out. It keeps the audience riveted. You're riveted, aren't you?

First of all, the polls are officially closed. Any submissions received after 11:00 pm, May 13, will be deleted forcefully yet soberly. It's a shame to waste talent, but I will not risk any of your genius ideas falling into the wrong hands. I am serious as a heart attack, people.

Anyway, after much thought, discussion, and prayer (ok, absolutely no prayer), I've narrowed the field to 5 finalists. It was tough, because, in addition to the 75 or so that I had in the initial batch, there were another 20-30 late entries. That's like a hundred, total. I mean, if I had a nickel for every tour name idea that I got, i could fill a giant stocking with nickels (around a hundred of them) and, if I were strong enough to wield such a stocking, and if it could hold all those nickels without breaking or getting a run or whatever, I could probably swing that nickel-filled death sock around and around and let it fly, and probably knock a building down or something.

So, basically, lots of good tour name ideas is what I'm saying.

My apologies to all of you who we have to say "goodbye" to in this, the final round. All I can say is that, you're all very talented, and I feel confident that many of you will probably be getting calls -- and soon -- from tour-naming firms ready to snatch you up and get you on their payrolls, naming tours for other not-very-famous musicians worldwide. At RossKingWorldTour Headquaters, we firmly believe that even the winners are losers. Wait, that came out wrong. That sounded more like something Jesus would say and then Derek Webb would write an awesome song about. What I meant to say was that in a contest like this, even the losers are only losing a dumb contest.

The 5 finalists are (viewed l-r in the pic below):

"Ross Who?" by Lance
"Ross King Sings on Couches" by Todd
"Everybody Back Up" by Mark
"Su Casa es Mi Casa" by Heather (and I feel it's absolutely necessary to pull an Oprah and say "you go girl")
"The Bathroom's Down the Hall" by Thad

I am so proud of all of you. And I can tell from this pic that you're all just as proud to be here today.

Because I'm a softy, and because we at RKWT HQ like to nurture young, creative minds, I'll be giving all these finalists a free copy of the new project (tentatively titled Think About It) if it ever comes out, as well as a free beverage of their choice and maybe -- but not necessarily or probably or actually -- a bunch of money.

I'm going to take a few days and announce the winner by the end of the week. Please feel free to lobby for your favorite finalist in the "comments" section.

And the Finalists Are...

The "Name The Tour" Contest isn't over, but it's defnitely losing some steam. And, while we are still accepting ideas, I thought it would be best to narrow the field from what we've gotten so far. So, from about 75 submissions, here are my 14 favorites, in order of appearance:

"Ross Who?" by Lance
"Homewrecker" by Lance
"Parade of Homes" by Lance
"Ross King Sings on Couches" by Todd
"Ross King Knows More Chords Now" by Todd
"Is He Still Alive?" By Todd
"The Bathroom’s Down The Hall" by Thad
"Bad Boys of Worship" by Thad
"And All the Allegations True" by Thad
"Potluck Supper" by Stevie
"Out of the Spotlight, Next to a Lamp" by Sparrow (whoever that is)
"No, Really" by Chase
"Everybody Back Up" by Mark/Pepe
"Did Everyone Get My Contractual Demands?" By Mark/Pepe

I would've had 15 favorites, but one of Todd's submissions was both slightly inappropriate and too close to the truth. I was afraid that people might buy the accompanying merch for the wrong, er, right, reasons. Sorry, Todd. You lose points for being, perhaps, a little too spot-on.

So, the contest is still officially on for maybe a day or two longer. But I'd also love to hear your thoughts on this batch of finalists. Feel free to applaud/exhort your own work. We welcome that here at the RossKingWorldTour headquarters. After all, we're in the business of promoting ourselves. If a tour is anything, it's a statement of "hey, who else thinks i'm awesome?"

Come to think of it, that's not a bad tour name...

thanks for playing.

It'll look great on a t-shirt

Above, you will see the tour poster for one of the great concerts of my teenage years, by one of the greatest-and-somehow-most-ridiculous bands ever. What's that about? I'll tell you.

I think it's time to get some interaction going here on the ol' world tour blog. How do we get that? I'll tell you that, too: incentives. Free stuff. That's how. So here's what we're going to do. I think this world-tour-of-tiny-venues needs a name. Every great rock-n-roll tour has a name. And, since this tour won't have much of anything else that every great rock-n-roll tour has, it at least needs the name. That's the least I can do.

So we're gonna have a little contest, kids. Come up with a name for my tour, and you'll get a free copy of my CD before it gets released. I'll sign it or something, if that's of any value to you. And I'll tell everyone who you are and how you were the genius behind it all. If I make any "merch" for the tour (something i've never done before, but who knows?), you'll get some of that stuff too. T-shirts or something. Probably not shoe-strings or bracelets or breath-mints. I'm still brainstorming here.

So if you have a good name for my tour, post in the "comments," and we'll see if we can't make history. And, by "make history," I mean history like "goes in Ross' mom's scrapbook" or something.

Oh, and remember that I like funny more than I like dramatic. If your idea is something like "a king for The King" or whatever, you will lose.

Also, no cuss words. Sinbad is funny without cuss words, and you can be too.

"where are you going?"

That's what Sam, our 3-year-old, says every time i leave the house with a guitar case in my hand. between studio sessions, church-band set-up-and-rehearse times, and gigs, it's actually a pretty common scene. before we had children, it was even more common. i made a conscious decision, taking into account my age, my growing studio/producing gig, and my desire to be a good husband/dad, to travel a little less around the time we got Sam. i don't regret it one bit. i've never been one of those people who just absolutely loves "the road" or "the life" or whatever you want to call the nomadic -- and oft-romanticized -- existence of a professional musician. i never hated it. i never loved it all that much. i accepted it as a part of what God has called and equipped me to do.

now, don't get me wrong. there have been some really great times of travel in my 12-13 years of doing this. i mean, even someone as un-famous as me has had some very, very cool "gigs." i've gotten to share the stage with lots of personal heroes and well-known celeb-types. i've been paid good money to see great scenery and stay in beautiful locations. i've been applauded and appreciated by some big crowds. it's honestly a better life than someone should be allowed to have. and again, in the scope of fame and celebrity, i've never really been a blip on the cultural radar. i'm just saying that i don't want to sound like i'm above enjoying this very fun job and position that i've been granted. no way.

and on the other hand, i've had some miserable times on the road as well. i've been to events where 500 were expected and 15 showed up (that's always awkward for everyone). i've stayed in some pretty nasty motels (recently was in one that had a massive, floor-to-ceiling mirror running the entire length of the widest wall in the room, right behind the two, very dingy double beds). hey, there was even an event that ended before it started, because, on the way there, a person ran in front of my car (long story that is terrible, then miraculous, then terrible again, then good at the end). seriously. some of you will undoubtedly ask about that one when i'm sitting in your living room sometime in next fall.

the point is that i have what i believe to be a balanced and realistic view of traveling. but i've got to tell you that there's a reason why i haven't "toured" in about 4-5 years. and there's a reason why i've chosen homes for the main venue of this tour. being away from my family is no fun. i am aboslutely convinced that God wants me to do this, and that He has some very cool plans for what will happen. i plan to sit on your couches and share life with you. i plan to hear your stories as you hear mine. i plan to sing songs that are abslutely unplanned just because of what God is doing in the moment. i'm planning for lots of laughing and praying and worshiping and head-scratching. and i really believe that i won't regret a single minute of it: not the time in random rental cars, not the awkward times of realizing that everyone forgot to find me a place to sleep for the night; not the really awkward times of realizing that it's only going to be you and your next door neighbor showing up to hear me. none of that. staci and i have talked about all of it, and we agree that this is what God wants for me -- for us -- for a certain season of life (my wife is the greatest, most wonderful women alive, people). so i'm ready for, even excited about, all of that. and i'm defnitely ready for the not-awkward and not-random times. it's going to be great.

but i will miss these little guys. and their hot mom.

you can pray for that part of this.

and for those of you whose homes i'll be in, know that i'm not just doing this "house" thing because it's cheaper and more post-modern/hippy/cool. i'm doing it because home is where life happens. anybody want to share some life?

i'll say this alot throughout this process, but thanks again to all of you who are helping, supporting, hosting, and encouraging me.